simontan.dev

Musings of a curious developer 📖

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

Ah man, I did it again... It is the time of the year (and I have this multiple times a year 😢) where I start having doubts about how I want to progress in life. I wrote an article earlier about why I chose to learn data science but recently, I saw a friend share a few tweets about game development and this urge that I have been suppressing for the longest time keeps resurfacing, coming back stronger than ever - the emotion of passion.

I always had this goal of creating games after retiring since games were a big part of my life growing up and I would not be who I am were it not for gaming. I want to get my hands dirty building impactful games. My initial plans were to start learning about game development next year when I have more programming knowledge and a proper desktop that I can stream on as I code.

Every time I chance upon someone talking about game development, I feel extremely envious towards them and sad for myself because they are doing something that I want to do. Unlike them, I am actively refraining myself from doing so because I reasoned with myself that logically, it is not the right time to do so but as time passes, I find this harder and harder to do. You would assume that one grows wiser as they age; making logical, informed & sound decisions and honestly, I do not know if this is the right decision but then again, must every choice either be right or wrong?

I grew up in a very competitive society where high achievers are in abundance. These folks make very calculated and synergistic moves with compounding effects on their careers. Money, sports cars, big house etc., who doesn't like these luxury goods? I also believe that money can buy time and happiness but sometimes I feel that we might lose touch with our human side if we keep suppressing these "undesirable" emotions. We are after all beings of emotion.

I like to think that life is more about the journey than what happens after end, taking detours simply because, because at the end of the day, we (at least some of us) will be 6 feet under. Looking it from that perspective, perhaps I am indeed growing wiser. Of course, I still need to be reasonable about it.

I am going to take a short detour to satisfy this craving of mine, to see if I actually enjoy game development, and if it does not work out, you will find me on another of the many tracks in life to wherever that may take me!

Thanks for reading! I will share an update on this in a few weeks.